Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Weight of You

This is my third post in participation with the Just Write challenge.

We’re sitting on the couch after a movie. It’s definitely Mommy’s bedtime, but we have to wait for Dad to put the sheets back on the bed. I don’t mind because it means a few more minutes of this. This wonderful cuddling we are doing. You are passed out on my shoulder – out like a light. Your little body has already gotten so heavy, and I feel the limp weight of you hanging on my shoulder like a sack of rice. The sweetest sack of rice you could possibly imagine.
There is a burning deep underneath my left shoulder blade from leaning awkwardly to my right to keep you comfortable, but I can ignore it for a while longer. It’s worth it to have your soft, chubby little cheek resting against mine. Sitting like this I can feel your heavy, sleepy breath against my neck. I can smell your sweet, milky smell. Your fingers curl sporadically against my back. Your cheeks flinch and your eyelids flutter with your dreams. What is it you dream about, sweet boy? Am I in there somewhere?
The burning is too much, so I sadly shift back to my left. You fall away from my cheek. At least now I can get a look at you. I notice the way your hair is starting to thin. I was hoping you would keep your hair, but I know I’ll love a bald baby, too. Your perfect lips are working, pursing and relaxing in your dreams. I think that dream must have something to do with at least one part of me.
How are you possible? You little bundle of perfection. I feel the weight of you, heavy on my chest and immense in my heart.


  1. the weight will stay with you the rest of your life :-) enjoy every moment - easy or hard. love you.

  2. OH, I thought I was okay that I was done having babies, but the tears in my eyes are telling me that I need to work through this some more. What a precious picture that you will never lose of your baby!

    1. Gianna, I don't envy the hard work you're likely doing to stay grounded in the present when the past is so sweet. I'm already fearing the speed at which my time with my baby is passing! But each new season brings its own blessings, right?
      Thanks for reading!