Anticipation

When I woke up this morning, I was excited to find it was snowing heavily. I've never minded the snow - and have even been known to gush over the romance of chopping wood on a snowy day for a crackling fire - but now I see the enchantment of those fluffy flakes all the more because of my son. I hurried to his room to get him out of bed, anxious to see his reaction. "Drake!" I said, "It's snowing! Do you wanna come see it?" 

"Uhgay!" he squeeled, jumping up.

I swooped him up and we went to the couch. He stood on the cushions with his elbows propped on the back of the couch and his nose to the window. His eyes were wide with delight at the white world outside. "Is Kissmass snow?!" he asked.

The question surprised me. He'd never shown any understanding of the coming Holidays before. We haven't even been talking about Christmas in the house yet. When I finished giggling over the adorable toddler incorrectness of his question - the simple connection he had made in his brain between snow and Christmas - I explained to him, "Yes, Christmas comes in the winter. But not yet. First we have Thanksgiving, then your Birthday, then Christmas."

To which he responded, "My burfday?!"


My son is anticipating. What a fun thing to watch happen. Last year, he had a good time at his birthday party and at Christmas. He liked the games and the toys and the people and the lights. But he never knew any of it was coming, and not because we hadn't told him. But this year, he is old enough to understand that something fun will be happening soon, but not yet. 

Patience and anticipation. I think that may be at the heart of what I love most about the holiday season. The build up. The excitement. The planning and preparing. And this year, it's even more exciting, because Drake is excited. 

Some days start better than others...

Some days, my husband has his first flight at 9 a.m. instead of 7, and he has time enough to sit in bed and read to me as we have our first cup of coffee.

Some days, my son asks to read a book first thing in the morning, rather than watch a movie or cartoon.

Some days, that same little boy takes that same book and impresses the heck out of me. He looks at the cover of his favorite book, Green Eggs and Ham, points to the word "Eggs" and says, "E right dere!" Smiling, I point out the G, and he says "gapes," remembering the picture of grapes behind the letter G in his alphabet puzzle. Same with the H: "heeppo!" I fall further in love with the way his little brain works.

Then, to top it off, he opens the book to a random page and says, shaking his head, "Not a box. Not a house. Not a fox. Not a mouse. Nope! Sam. No. No geen eggs and ham."

Some days, my heart gets filled up right from the start. Filled with gratitude and pride.

I think it's going to be a good day.

Dad, Booze, and Other Things Drake Says

My son's first word was "Mama". Naturally. Thankfully. He said it before he was even a year old.
That was followed shortly by "ball," pronounced more like "baw." Then came "Nana" and "Baba" and "hi" and "bye."
And then that was kind of it for quite awhile. He used those words consistently and frequently, but didn't latch on to any others until about two months ago. That's about the time he started using "hep me" any time he wanted something, and was successfully taught how to say "tant tu" when it was given to him. He also melted hearts when he waved and said "nigh nigh" on his way to bed.
So that's 11 words. Some of which he was saying in two word phrases. And he still hadn't learned to say "Dad." It's probably not hard to imagine that my husband's feelings were a bit hurt. I worked on it all the time. I pointed at Justin's pictures when he was away at work or school and said repeatedly, "Dad! Daaaadd. Daddy!" to which Drake would respond, "Mom!" Flattery aside, I felt kinda guilty about it.
So I think I was every bit as excited as Justin when Drake just decided to start using "Dad" all on his own over Labor Day Weekend. We were on our trip out to my brother's farm for his wedding, and I guess Drake just decided to show off for all our friends and family. He also started saying "apple," which now stands in for all varieties of fruit and vegetable.
Since then, it seriously has felt like he has added a new word almost every day. I honestly can't keep track of them all. I wish I had written this post two weeks ago. I'm going to do my best to think of them all and start keeping a record.
Drake's 21 Month Vocabulary:
Mom or Mama
Ball (still pronounced "baw")
Nana
Baba
Hi
Bye
Help me ("hep me")
Thank you ("tant tu")
Goodnight ("nigh nigh")
Dad
Boots (which he loves to wear - he brings them to me and says "booze! booze!")
Juice ("deuce," which stands in for all beverages)
Apple
Cheese ("teece")
No (this one is not Mom's favorite)
Ew (when he has a dirty diaper)
Yuck
Eye (he points to them in books and on the faces of his toys. He can also point to a nose, mouth, cheek, chin, forehead, ear, and eyebrow when prompted, but he has yet to say any of those himself.)
Teeth
Up
More (sounds more like "moi")
Boom (do sound effects count? He says this one when he throws things.)
Me and Mine
Home
Dog
Yummy ("Nuuuuumy!")
Baby

He understands:
Kiss (and if you're lucky, he'll give you one, "mmmaaaww!" sound effect and all)
Drake ("Isn't he clever, Mr. O'haire? He responds to his own name!" Quick! What movie? ;))
Book (he'll run and go get you one to read)
Hungry (he'll laugh and run to his high chair if he is)
Lovey (his snuggle buddy since the day he was born)
Outside
Come here
...and a lot of other phrases. I feel like his understanding is really quite amazing. I say full sentences to him and feel as though he gets the point. These are just the ones that I know for sure get the appropriate response.

I feel certain I'm forgetting some, but that is a pretty good start.

Ahem...

So, uh..... this is just the teensiest bit late... And by teensy, I mean 8 months. Ahem. Yeah....
I really have been wanting to post these pictures of Drake's 1st birthday since, well, Drake's 1st birthday. And he may or may not be 20 months old already. :} But life gets in the way and priorities get mixed up and excuses get made.... blahdy blah blah.
But here they are now, still as cute as ever. Except for the fact that now they almost make me have a panic attack because, you guys, my baby is SO much bigger than this now! How can this be just 8 months ago?! Parenthood is insanity. High paced insanity.
Speaking of which, his 1st Birthday was an airplane theme. We chose planes because his daddy is going to school to be a pilot, so it's a major part of our life, and because his first year flew by. And now here we are closer to 2 than 1 already... I'm not gonna cry...

The Birthday Boy...

 ...with his beautiful Nana Amy...

...and his cousin Ashton.

                                                                 We set up a photo corner...

 ...and I think the adults had more fun than anyone else...

 .... as evidenced by my Mom and her wonderfully silly fiance, Kyle. :)

Papa Rick and the two youngest.

 The party table...

 ... and our fleet of party favors.

 My [second attempt at my] first birthday cake...

 I was pretty proud of how it turned out (despite the misspelling).

 We were so grateful to have so many wonderful friends and neighbors come celebrate with us.

 Cake time!!

 As you can see, the birthday outfit did not survive the cake...

 The bigger kids played Pin the Propeller on the Plane...

there are a lot of giggles when you accidentally walk towards the wrong wall... :)

 ... and then it was present time!

 Do you see the wonderful rocking horse Kyle made him? I may or may not have accidentally broken it later that night... :S But don't worry, it's ok now! Kyle fixed it.

 It makes my heart so happy to remember how much my Little Man is loved.

Drake and his beautiful Auntie B.

Nana Cindy's necklace is soooo pretty!

Drake and Best Friend Jaime.

 Thank you to all our wonderful friends and family who made my boy's 1st Birthday such a special day. Ready to do it again in 4 months...? Oh geez, I think I'm gonna be sick....

(ps - now I know why I put this off for so long! That just took me nearly 8 hours across 2 days to edit and format all those pictures! Phew!)

A Not-So-Well Child Checkup

Drake and I had to make a {slightly} premature visit to the pediatrician on Friday. He was due for his 15 month well-child check this Thursday, but he hasn't been very "well" lately. It's nothing new to us - just a few bad battles with his anal stenosis. It was the fact that it seemed, both to Justin and I, to be getting worse over all instead of better, that finally prompted me to call the pediatrician and ask for the next available appointment. I just can't stand watching him cramp up and grunt and cry all the time anymore. I can't explain it any other way to you except to say that I feel like I coach my son through labor nearly every day. That is seriously the only other place I have heard sounds like the ones that come out of my son when he is trying to go to the bathroom. It's awful. So to the pediatrician we went.
Our original pediatrician in Helena is the one who made the anal stenosis diagnosis. He said there was a constriction about half an inch up in there. He told us to avoid certain foods like bananas and white rice to avoid him getting constipated on top of it, and that the act of pushing his stools out would, over time, help him to stretch and eventually grow out of the condition. When we first saw Drake's new pediatrician and filled him in on Drake's history, he seemed... skeptical. But Drake was not having trouble with it at that particular time so it wasn't much of a conversation. But now, with it seeming to suddenly get worse, he was forced to tell me what he thought. Basically, he told me it was a diagnosis he very rarely - if ever - makes and that he thought that Drake was, for whatever reason, just a child prone to constipation. He said all of this without ever having done a physical exam himself. So now it was my turn to be the skeptic. How can you tell me that my son is just constipated when I've done everything to avoid that? He gets all the right foods. Prunes, pineapples, whole grains... and nothing that can clog him up. It's honestly so disheartening to me. I'm a firm believer that food is healthcare and hesitate to medicate unless absolutely necessary. That being said, the pediatrician did go on to say that sometimes constipation can become a vicious cycle, getting big and hard on the inside and stretching out the rectum, and creating a pocket for future stools to get bigger and harder and stretch out... you get the idea. He said we needed to break the cycle. He recommended Miralax and assured me that it was a safe drug that never absorbs through the intestine wall into the bloodstream, but sits in the intestine, drawing in excess water to soften the stool. So that's what we're doing. Because he was certainly right about one thing: we have to break this cycle for my son. But I have my eye on you, doc. You better not act like I'm crazy if we encounter more problems in the future.
Drake still hasn't been able to go to the bathroom (it's now Sunday evening) though he tries every half hour or so. I'm praying the Miralax kicks in soon and we can put this all behind us. And you won't have to read the words "stool" and "rectum" so often. Sorry about that.
Other than that, Drake is doing very well. Developing normally (though he makes me abnormally proud). He's in the 50th percentile for height and weight but the 87th percentile for head circumference. Poor kid - he's got a big head just like his Momma's side of the family. I still maintain it's room for all those brains. He got caught up on his shots - two in each leg, which seemed awfully unfair to me - but he was a stud about it.
Afterward, we had to stop by the store to get the Miralax and a couple things for dinner. In the checkout line, a man in his fifties and dressed in a dirty, over sized coat started talking to Drake and I. He told us that he had four kids and NINETEEN grand kids. He was there to buy a toy for one of them. He was pretty taken with Drake, talking and smiling at him. Then he showed Drake something off the impulse-buy shelves: a blue rubber duck. Drake lit up. The man offered to buy it for him. Random kindness like that is so rare, I hardly know how to react to it. To be honest, I'm used to men that look like he did being slightly on the creepy side, leaning more towards inappropriate flirtation than anything else. I tried to politely decline, mentioning that we had some at home (we only have one). But when I tried to take the duck from Drake so that we could leave, he almost lost it. I didn't have the heart to just yank it from him after the day/week he had had. As I was trying to gently pry it from his hands and convince him that his lovie was enough, the man offered a second time. This time I smiled and said thank you. I think it made Drake's day. And the pleasant surprise was good for me, too. 

15 Month Stats:
Height: 31"
Weight: 22 lbs 11 oz
Head: 19"

Summer 2012 Recap, Part 1: Drake

 Labor Day weekend is long gone. Students have been back to school for weeks now (my husband included!). The evenings are starting to cool off and people are excited to bust out their jeans and sweaters. All of the social and cultural factors have been lining up for a while.  And now, it’s official. The Fall Equinox is here. Summer is over.

So I thought it was a good moment to pause, take a breath, and get back to this here blog of mine.

Drake, I want you to know that I didn’t stop writing in your online baby book because there was nothing exciting going on to tell you about or because your development became any less thrilling to me – quite the opposite, my son! We have been so busy living such a full life. And you! You have grown so much and so fast and so profoundly! You are moving and learning and vocalizing.

You have been getting around pretty well all summer – you perfected a military crawl several months ago. It was so effective, I wasn’t sure you would ever care to learn how to actually crawl on your knees. But about a week ago, you got it. And now, you are literally unstoppable. You are getting anywhere and everywhere – fast! You even started climbing the stairs – cute, but terrifying. Sure enough, you rolled down a few steps two days ago. It’s high time for some baby gates. You and I have errands to run later today…

 You are also sitting up incredibly well. This may not seem as impressive as the crawling, but it baffles me possibly more than the crawling does. You just look so big when you sit up so tall and sturdy like that. And it wasn’t even a process! You just DID it. One day, about a month ago, you just tucked your knees under you, pushed yourself up, and then turned and looked at me like, "What? No big deal." Now you crawl where you want to go, slide your legs under you, and sit and play with your desired object – you know, like electrical cords and box fans and dog bowls. Very appropriate toys.

In the world of “firsts,” there has been a lot going on. You said your first word about six weeks ago and haven’t stopped saying it since. What was it, you ask? Well, in a move that melted your momma’s heart yet again, you said “Momma” before any other word. It is so good to be loved by you, Little Man.

You went on your first airplane ride and went swimming for the first time when we visited the Tennessee clan this past July. You did great on the plane – it wasn’t the fun and restful trip that Mom has been used to in her life with the addition of you on my lap – but every stewardess commented on how good you were. On each leg of our trip, there was a baby that screamed and cried and kept everyone awake but it was never you. We were proud parents, for sure. 

 I was equally as proud and excited to see how much you loved the water when we went swimming in Nana and Pampa’s neighborhood pool. There was no fear whatsoever, even when I tried the blow-in-your-face-and-dunk trick. Your eyes got big, but you did great. Held your breath and decided to smile despite the shock. Between that and your very vigorous and strong kicking in the bathtub, I just know you’re going to be a great swimmer. It’s in your genes. 

 On a much less happy note, you were diagnosed with a little “condition” this summer. At the end of an extremely heart wrenching process, we found out you had something called Anal Stenosis. It basically means that your little bottom was too small. After eleven days without being able to go to the bathroom and a trip to the emergency room in Chattanooga that involved an enema and the most heart breaking hour and a half yet, it was our wonderful pediatrician here at home that finally told us what was going on. Mom had been feeling extremely guilty because the nurse practitioner in Tennessee had told us it was constipation from the foods I’d been feeding you that caused the cramping and screaming and pain that I had seen you go through for days. I was devastated that the bananas and rice cereal I had been so pleased to give you had caused you so much pain. Turns out, it wasn’t your diet at all. It was your hardware. That being said, Dr. Reynolds recommended that we go back to a strictly breast milk diet – well, breast milk and prune juice - to keep your stools as soft as possible while the situation sorted itself out. Yes, that was the good news! It was something you would grow out of simply through the process of… well… pooping. It would gradually stretch out, though it would be a slower than normal and slightly uncomfortable process. We had to learn to use at home enemas and mom had to chug gallons and gallons of water to keep her milk supply up to snuff (your appetite had grown used to the bulk of solid foods and it wasn’t easy to deprive you of it). But, I am happy to announce, you are doing MUCH better. Over the past couple of weeks, you have been pooping easily and frequently. I have even been able to reintroduce a few purees over the past week! I mixed in a little prune juice, just to be on the safe side, and – so far! – all is going well. I hope it is something that is behind us now.

 It’s hard to condense the past several months of change into one blog post (if only I had been keeping up with it, right?) but I want you to know it’s been a great summer. It’s been a pleasure to watch you grow and explore and just to BE your mom. I saw a commercial for laundry soap, of all things, today that said “you will have a child forever, but a baby for only one year.” What?! You won’t be my baby after one year?! But that is almost over! Agh. I can hardly stand the thought of how soon we will be celebrating your first birthday (though I am so proud to see you grow). I hereby vow to savor every day of your baby hood from today until it’s over, and then to celebrate the next phase with you too.

(And I hope to write a little more about it along the way.)

It happened already

My son is six months old today. 

 Six months old. All I can do is shake my head in disbelief. All the cliche things are true: it literally goes by in the blink of an eye! I've done everything I can to relish the last six months. I stare at him intently and take everything in and beg time to slow down. It doesn't. It speeds on - faster and faster all the time. I just know that I'm gonna sneeze and it'll be his first birthday. It's crazy. And it's hard to cope with sometimes. But it's not sad. Watching my boy grow and flourish and learn and develop is the greatest honor and thrill of my life. And look how handsome this big boy is!

The Learning Curve

It's crazy steep.
The rate at which this little boy is picking things up is mind boggling. At least it is for this first time Momma.
It wasn't that long ago that he figured out rolling over for the first time. When I told my Mom she said, "That's awesome honey. You have to watch him like a hawk now." But at first it was this super laborious task. It took him several minutes to figure it all out, often getting stuck and having to start over. Knees up to the chest, flop to one side. Head cranes back, arms pull on a blanket for some help. Fail, try again. But now the floor is officially the only safe place to leave this little mover. Not that he's crawling or anything yet, but he is pulling his knees up under him - which, to me, seem pretty freaking incredible. And he rolls instantly now. Seriously, in five seconds or less he's on his tummy and smiling up at me, so proud of himself. He spins around on his tummy and reaches for toys. Like a kid. A very small toddler. But not really a baby. No, babies are tiny and must be held at all times and have no idea what toys or binkies really are.
Speaking of binkie, he's working really hard lately on putting it in his mouth himself. This is super tricky though, as the easiest part to hold onto is, in fact, the same part he's trying to put in his mouth. It's very cute to watch him eat his hand in the process of trying to get to the binkie.
Last week my sister and brother-in-law gave us the ExerSaucer bouncy toy that their youngest no longer needed. At first, when we put Drake in it, he let all his weight rest on his little bum. He just hung there and batted at the toys. Within a couple days, he was getting his feet under him and standing - fully taking the weight off of his bum and standing. Now, he's already starting to figure out the bounce action. It's a chaotic spasm more than a rhythmic bounce, but it's a start. Can you tell that I am one proud Momma?

What we've learned

My son is five months old as of yesterday and I haven't written a word about his amazing self or impressive development in over five weeks. The fact that this makes me feel like a bit of a neglectful mother is silly and irrational, and yet the thought is there.
I've been overwhelmed at the idea of backing up and trying to catch up. And so I put it off further. And the stories piled up further and the task became increasingly daunting. Until a beautiful new friend of mine said, "What a blessing it would be if you could just say 'This is what we learned' and then move forward." How freeing that simple thought was! (You're wonderful, Lauren.)

And so, a few brief lessons from the past month:

Four and a half month old babies, left in nothing more than a diaper, can - and will! - get the diaper off. Naked baby boys are oh so cute but also quite dangerous. Onesies are highly recommended.

The older a boy gets, the more essential that his nails are trimmed regularly. Those things are lethal and will almost certainly result in a screaming baby in the middle of the night and bright red gashes in the morning.

Even if a certain somebody's thighs have gotten so big that the buckles in the swing seem a little snug, use them anyway. The most heart wrenching sound to date is the sound of a baby thudding onto the hardwood floor when he rolled out of his swing. My poor boy.

We are both tougher than we might have given ourselves credit for previously. We can survive increased work loads and sick days. They aren't fun, but we get through them.

Schedules can be found naturally. Rhythms rise out of daily life if  you let them, but when they do, they need to be protected fiercely. If you mess with them for even a couple of days you run the risk of starting all over.

Blowing spit bubbles is a favorite pastime of five month old boys.

A bath before bed helps us to sleep better.

Even five month old babies are capable of fake cries to get Mom's attention. At this stage, it's still cute.

Books are awesome! The pictures are mesmerizing.

Sunglasses on little boys attract the attention of absolutely everyone you meet. But really, we're not surprised. Who could resist this cool kid?

Every new ounce of baby chub is scrumptious.
Every new facial expression is just as exciting as the last.
God is so good and His timing is perfect.
Every second that I get to spend with this amazing little boy is a blessing straight from heaven and I am so, so thankful. But we knew that already.

Noticing things

Drake is quickly taking on a lot of "big" boy qualities. (I recognize that it's all relative, and he only seems like a big boy as compared to his newborn-ness - and then, even, only to me. What a novice mother am I. Nevertheless.) He's beginning to notice the things around him. He sees the toys that hang from his bouncy chair and slaps at them wildly. Every once in a while he gets a hold of one - and seems completely confounded as to what is preventing him from pulling his arm back down close to his body. It's pretty cool to watch him slowly begin to discover the world around him. It's still a small world, but it's all new to him. It wakes up the up the sense of awe and wonder in me, too, as I see things the way I imagine he must see them. Pretty lights! Bright colors! So soft!
I've tried to facilitate these little exploratory experiences by placing things of various textures in his hands, setting brightly colored toys in his line of sight, and singing or playing music. The other day I was blessed enough to capture this "first" on video:



That duck had literally been hanging on his car seat since the day  he was born. Suddenly, it was hilarious.
By the way, I'm truly sorry you had to put up with my laughing like a hyena in the background. Hopefully Drake's sweet laugh made up for it.

The Baby Coma

Little Man passed out at the dance studio with Paige, about three weeks ago.

I don’t know if you’ve heard of it before, but it’s a real thing. It’s that state that babies live in for the first couple months of their lives - completely unaware of what happens around them.  They sleep when they are tired, which is always. The wake only to eat, which inevitably makes them so tired again that their eyes roll back into their heads and they pass out, at the breast, with milk running down their chins – it’s a corresponding phenomena often referred to as Milk Drunk (a very technical term).  They could sleep through a rock concert. My son slept through the trains that pass only a couple blocks from our house – several times a night - and lay on their horns like they’re leading a holiday parade.

But then, I’m finding, something changes. Apparently somewhere around three months of age they start to become aware: aware of people who come to visit; aware of the hustle and bustle of their parents; aware of the dogs in their faces; aware of the jostling of the in and out of the car on errand days; painfully aware of trains. And so my poor baby boy has become overly tired several times in the past week because his Momma can’t figure out how to adjust with him. My errand running plans nearly always interfere with his plans for a good snooze.

My inexperienced, first time Mommy brain thinks that the answer to this problem is a good schedule -regular naps that are easily planned around. The thing is, I have no idea how to establish one. I sat down two nights ago and wrote one out. It looked beautiful on my yellow legal pad: hour for hour descriptions of a perfectly harmonized Drake and Mommy day. I went to bed determined that the next day was going to hum along according to my new plan. I’m sure the veteran mommies out there are laughing at me right about now. Because that is just not how it works. If there is one thing babies are good for, it’s reminding their parents that life does not always (read “ever”) work out the way you had planned.

So for the past two days I’ve just been paying attention to the clock as Drake did his own thing, and I’m amazed/concerned. Little Man spends the first half of his day in almost perfect one hour increments: one hour awake, one hour asleep. Later in the day, he stretches the “awake” portions to something more like two hours. That’s just not gonna work. There is no way to run an errand – and be back at the house in time to put him down! – in one hour. Not gonna happen. Not to mention the crazy amounts of gas I would waste if I only ever ran one errand at a time.

What do I do? Is there a way to help encourage him to stay awake longer? He is so sad when he’s tired, it sort of breaks my heart to think of doing it. I would love any advice or feedback.