When it comes to food, my son is insane. Full on coo coo.
Yesterday, he asked me for a banana. "Bynanat," to be accurate. So, naturally, I snagged a banana, peeled it, and handed it to him. At this point in my relationship with my son, I should not have been surprised by what happened next. He lost it. "Not dis bynanat! DIS bynanat!" he cried, pointing at the unpeeled banana still on the counter.
"Son, they are exactly the same," I tried calmly reasoning with him, to which he responded by throwing himself on the ground.
"Not dis bynanat!" tears pouring down his face.
"Son, they are the same. I'm not going to peel the other banana for you. That's wasteful."
"NOT DIS BYNANAT!"
"Drake, this is crazy behavior. You asked for the banana. Here it is." I lay the banana on the edge of the counter within his reach.
"NOT DIS BYNANAT! NOT DIS BYNANAT!" he wailed even louder.
"Drake!" I said, my voice growing stern, "This is crazy. You asked for the banana and they are all the same!"
"NOOOO! NOT DIS ONE!"
"Drake! You are driving me nuts!"
"NO NUTS! NO NUTS!" he cried, and I don't know if he was insulted or worried I might force feed him nuts. Just when I thought I might actually lose my mind, Drake stood up, sniffled once, saw the peeled banana on the edge of the counter and said, smiling, "Oh! My bynanat!" as he grabbed it and walked off happily. I was left standing in the kitchen, my eye twitching ever so slightly.
He never ate it. He just sat there holding it as he watched his cartoons. For an hour. I repeatedly reminded him to eat it, asked him to eat it, suggested that he should take a bite, begged him to eat it. He just smiled and did nothing until his cartoons were over, at which point he cried that his hands were messy and rejected the banana all over again.
Twitch... twitch
